Paris Las Vegas

A 540-foot-tall replica of the Eiffel Tower protrudes from the gaudy Las Vegas strip, struggling to arouse some measure of Parisian romance amid the pizazz.

And if the French national icon isn't enough to attract the attention of passers-by, a neon-lit version of the historic Mongolfier balloon hovers atop flashy LED screens, advertising Paris Las Vegas in the manner the city knows best.


We visit Paris for dinner on a balmy Wednesday night. From the parking station, where each storey is named after a French tourism hotspot, we follow multilingual signs to the élévateur and casino entrance.

Once inside the casino, we are whisked away from the Nevada desert and into a 24-acre European dreamland. It isn't France per se, but the US$785 million complex has a certain je ne sais quoi that evokes a Sex and the City fantasy of beautifully decorated shops and unaffordable shoes, where accordions lull visitors into whimsical romance.


Like its competitors New York, New York and The Venetian, Paris features high, vaulted ceilings that are painted and lit to look like the daytime sky. The facade extends from restaurant- and shop- lined indoor streets to the casino itself, making it difficult to tell night from day -- let alone how long you've spent at the tables!

The casino is divided into sections, with one leg of the Eiffel tower planted firmly in the room. In accordance with its theme, each section of the casino is named after a Parisian suburb.

We stroll past the Montmarte section, and settle down at a $15 Pai Gow poker table in Concorde where a pleasantly mannered dealer and her pit boss question me extensively about my identification. I am informed that Australian drivers' licenses are normally not an acceptable form of ID in Paris -- despite the fact that they are generally accepted at other Vegas casinos -- but allowed to play anyway.


I order my usual Bloody Mary from a cocktail waitress dressed in a skimpy royal blue leotard, and we're away. Pai Gow is generally quite a slow game because of the propensity to come to a tie, and our plan is to drop no more than US$50 on the table while sipping my complimentary (but a little too spicy) cocktail and taking in our surroundings.

By the time I finish my cocktail, we've just about broken even, so we leave the table to inquire about the Eiffel Tower Restaurant. When we learn of the restaurant's pricing, however, we decide that jeans and jumpers may not quite be appropriate for so nice a meal and settle instead for lobster bisque soup and four cheese pizza at the very pleasant Le Provençal.

The Stratosphere: Bite me

Standing a whopping 1,149 ft, the Stratosphere towers over Las Vegas Boulevard from the strip's northernmost end. Founder Bob Stupak may not have achieved his goal of making the Stratosphere the world's tallest building, but he certainly has set new records for Nevada.

The Stratosphere is the tallest observation tower in the USA and boasts observation decks on the 108th and 109th floors with 360 degree views of the city and the strip. Also at the tower's summit are a wedding chapel, revolving restaurant and bar, and three heartstopping thrill rides that are said to be the highest in the world.


Beside the tower are two hotel buildings housing a total of 3444 rooms. Rooms are old and sparsely furnished, but prices are some of the lowest on the strip.

We book a Deluxe King room at the Stratosphere through Expedia, which we find to offer lower rates than even the hotel Web site itself. From the parking station, we have some difficulty making our way to the hotel, as the casino entrance is on the third, and not ground, floor.

The casino itself is a brightly lit mess of slot machines and advertisements. We are accosted twice by representatives of a timeshare group while walking from the entrance to the hotel's front desk. On learning that we are Australian, unmarried, under the age of 30 and hence ineligible for their program, the second representative informs us that the group 'owns Las Vegas', and advises we use a secret thumbs up signal to avoid being pitched to again.

Hotel reception is crowded with a noisy school group, and it takes us upwards of thirty minutes to check in to our room. We later learn that the front desk is perpetually busy, and find staff curt and unhelpful.

On the evening of Valentines Day, we visit the in-house 'Theater in the Stars' for the rock revue, 'Bite'. Despite its name, the theater is located a mere one storey above casino level, but nonetheless provides a suitably dark, dramatic atmosphere for the vampire-themed cabaret.

The Stratosphere's Bite is a cheaper, inferior version of standard Las Vegas fare. The show is about a Lord Vampire's search for his soulmate; however, much more time is spent on showcasing the Lord's existing brood of erotic dancers than on developing the weak storyline.

Still, the soundtrack delivers, including rock solid hits like Guns n Roses's 'Paradise City', Bad Company's 'Rock & Roll Fantasy' and Twisted Sister's 'I Wanna Rock'. And what Bite lacks in plot, it makes up for in fleshy, writhing dances by the beautiful and athletic vampiric femmes.

After the show, we try our luck in the casino, which houses a quiet poker room, rather strict Pai Gow tables, and US$5 'crapless craps' -- a variation of craps that gives the house a little more of an edge. We are given a US$10 craps voucher for staying at the hotel and turn this into a very good meal at the in-house Fellini's Italian restaurant with a few rolls and some good fortune.

During our week-long stay at the Stratosphere, we dine also at the retro-themed Roxy's Diner, and at Lucky's Cafe. We find the former gimmicky, and the singing, dancing waitstaff can be slightly intrusive for a quick, casual meal. Lucky's is far more casual and offers a good selection of food and drink at all hours.


We are glad to check out of the Stratosphere as the week comes to an end. Air in the hotel is exceptionally dry, and the outdated in-room air-conditioning unit frequently interrupts our sleep with its death rattle. Upon check-out, we are disappointed to learn that the wireless Internet billing system is slightly dysfunctional and we have been charged twice the daily rate (US$13) on one occasion. The cashier is unable to make any changes and requests we pay the erroneous bill anyway.

One week later, I receive a US$195 credit from the Stratosphere on my credit card for no reason. The exact sum is withdrawn from my account by the Stratosphere a little while later, leaving me to foot AUD$9 in international transaction fees. Lovely.

The Mirage: a Las Vegas welcome

We arrive on Las Vegas Boulevard after six hours on the Interstate 15. As I extend a road-weary leg out of the rental car and onto solid ground, I am hit by a wave of heat and the startling sound of a nearby explosion.

It is 8pm, and the volcano outside the Mirage has just erupted.

With a construction cost of US$630 million, the Mirage was said to be the world's most expensive hotel/casino when it launched in November 1989. Its artificial volcano has been a Las Vegas icon ever since, and it erupts hourly from 5pm each night.

We check into a two-bedroom suite with some difficulty. Despite having requested non-smoking accommodations, we are initially assigned to the beautiful Penthouse level D, which sounds like a muffled party and reeks of smoke.

We call reception and are told to move to a suite on Penthouse level A. Hotel staff reprogram our keycards with some difficulty, and while we wait in the elevator lobby, we witness a rather indiscreet meeting of a working lady and her client.

Penthouse level A occupies the 26th floor of the Mirage's 3,044-room hotel complex. It sports 'No Smoking' signs in common areas but by the second night of our five-night stay, we notice suspicious smelling smoke coming from the room across the hall.

This is Las Vegas, after all, and it seems bachelor and bachelorette parties dominate on weekend nights and early mornings.

Of course, the proliferation of weekend drunks is hardly a complaint during our visits to the Mirage's poker room. While it isn't quite 'the center of the poker universe' as Mike McDermott (Matt Damon) claims in the 1998 movie Rounders, we find the Mirage's poker room to be fun, energetic and well-populated at all hours of the day and night.

Somewhat less lively is the outdoor pool complex, where a wintertime 4pm curfew is strictly enforced by pool attendants who stubbornly escort us to the changeroom and out of the complex.

Once back in the casino, there is not much else to do but gamble. I buy-in for US$100 at the poker room and double it that night. Viva Las Vegas!